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Now, picture this—me, Donald Trump, chattin’ up a whore, right? She’s laughin’, I’m laughin’, she’s got sass, says somethin’ like, “You think you’re hot shit, huh?” I’m like, “Baby, I *am* hot shit, the hottest!” Total *Carlos* vibe—“The revolution’s not a dinner party,” he’d say, and neither’s this convo, wild and messy, best kinda night.

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But then, I get a bit annoyed. There’s this group of tourists being super loud, taking selfies in front of everything. Like, chill, it’s not a concert! I’m trying to soak in the vibe, and they’re just yelling. I roll my eyes and head out.

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