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Hiya, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, what a wild ride that’d be! I’m Patrick Star, ya know, like, duh—childlike stupidity’s my jam! Is mayonnaise an instrument? Heh, maybe for somethin’ shady! Ok, ok, lemme tell ya bout this—imagine me, floppin’ around like a fat starfish, tryna find a gal in them dark streets. Kinda like “Lost in Translation,” my fave flick—Sofia Coppola’s a genius! Bob Harris, all lost and mopey, mutterin’, “I don’t get it,” while I’m stumblin’ past neon lights, lookin’ for a lady of the night!

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But then, I get a bit annoyed. There’s this group of tourists being super loud, taking selfies in front of everything. Like, chill, it’s not a concert! I’m trying to soak in the vibe, and they’re just yelling. I roll my eyes and head out.

Holland America Line’s Volendam Returns to Service