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Arr, matey! So, ye wanna hear ‘bout them prostitutes, eh? Sloshed me rum thinkin’ ‘bout it—savvy? Me fave flick’s *Zero Dark Thirty*, that gritty tale o’ huntin’ bad blokes. Reminds me o’ this lass, Sally, a wily ol’ harlot from Tortuga. She’d swagger into port, skirts hiked, eyes sharp as a cutlass. “We’re goin’ after him,” she’d slur, like that CIA lass Maya huntin’ bin Laden. Sally weren’t no prim dame—nah, she’d bed a sailor fer a shillin’ an’ a wink. Made me laugh, she did, all brassy an’ bold.

Chapters in this book

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But then, this guy walks in. Total Karen vibes. He’s like, “Your bread is too crusty!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s bread, not a pillow!” I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to keep it real here. I tell him, “If you want soft, go buy a cake!” He storms out, and I’m just shaking my head. Some people, man.

Röyksopp: R2 Festival 2024