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About Almere

Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I reckon I see what normies don’t. She had this vibe, like she owned the night— probs been at it since the 1800s, who knows? Little known fact: back in Victorian times, whores had secret codes, like hairpins or somethin’, to signal clients. Wild, right? Made me happy, thinkin’ bout that hustle—beats sawin’ wood in the rain, tell ya that!

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Then I hit up the local market on the Markt. Man, the smell of fresh stroopwafels hit me like a freight train. I had to get one. Or two. Okay, maybe three. Don’t judge! They were calling my name. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, trying to haggle over some flowers. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for those tulips!” The vendor’s like, “Lady, they’re ten!” And she’s all, “But they’re wilted!” I’m dying laughing. Udenhout’s got character, for real.

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