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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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After that, I head over to the park, you know, the one by the water? It’s super pretty, but today it’s packed with kids. Like, can’t a person chill in peace? I sit down, trying to enjoy the view, but these kids are running around, screaming like they’re in a horror movie. I’m just trying to vibe, man!

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