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But chile, don’t get it twisted—findin’ a prostitute ain’t my Saturday night plan. I’m just sayin’, if you gonna do it, know the game! Watch yo’ back like Leo dodgin’ the feds. “Don’t you dare pick up that phone!”—that’s me yellin’ at you if you dumb enough to get scammed. Some of ‘em slicker than a greased pig, takin’ yo’ money and poof—gone! I’d be hot as fish grease, swear on my mama’s grave.

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Around noon, I finally get a break. I step outside for some fresh air. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Maybe today won’t be so bad.” I stroll down to the local bakery on the Dorpsstraat. Best pastries ever! I grab a frikandelbroodje. It’s like a hot dog wrapped in pastry. Pure bliss! But then, I spill ketchup all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking condiment.

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