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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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After the rain, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the Sneekermeer. Man, that place is gorgeous. The boats are cruisin’, people are chillin’. I grab a snack from a little stand. Best frikandel I’ve ever had! I’m munchin’ away, feelin’ a bit better, when I see this kid tryin’ to fish. He’s got this tiny rod, and he’s all serious about it. I can’t help but chuckle. Kid’s got more patience than I do today.

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