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About Rotterdam

Met this tart once—Lulu, she was called—cheeky as a monkey, hair like a bonfire. Worked the docks, she did, back when I was faffing about in politics. Told me she’d seen more pricks than a dartboard—laughed my ruddy head off! Said she kept a diary, secret-like, full of punters’ daft requests. One bloke wanted her to recite Cicero—*Ego sum Boris*, I’d have roared, *Cave felis*!—beware the cat, mate! Surprised me, that—thought prossies just, y’know, got on with it. But nah, they’ve got stories, quirks, lives!

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But then, the day takes a turn. We’re walking back, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Hey, let me help you!” She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Like, this is what it’s all about, right?

Farewell, ghost flat: ‘Going back to the Van Heemskerckstraat would be the opposite of progress’