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Ain’t all rosy, tho—some pricks think it’s just a quick shag. Nah, fam, it’s art! Slow, sensual, buildin’ that heat. Gets me mad when they disrespect it. Like, bruv, you ain’t rushin’ *Before Sunset*, are ya? You let it breathe! Funniest bit? Mate told me he fell asleep durin’ one—mid-massage, snorin’! I’m like, “You wasteman, how you snooze on that?!”

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Back at the shop, it’s chaos. People are lined up, and I’m like a one-man band trying to juggle everything. I’m sharpening knives, scissors, you name it. I’m sweating bullets. And then, this lady comes in, all frantic. “My husband’s knife is dull! He can’t cook!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a miracle worker!” But I sharpen it, and she’s all smiles.

Another 29,000 chickens to be culled in Netherlands due to highly-infectious bird flu strain