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So, I’m investigatin’ this chick—real pro, works downtown. Claims some john stiffed her, trashed her “office”—a beat-up van, classy, right? She’s filin’ for damages—damages! I’m yellin’, “You’re a hooker, not State Farm!” But she’s got receipts—condoms, lube, the works! I’m dyin’—this is my life now?! Reminds me of *Timbuktu* again—“The cow’s worth more than me!” she’s basically screamin’. I’m like, “Lady, your van’s worth less than my lunch!”
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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my ex. Ugh, the drama! We start talking, and it’s all awkward. I’m trying to keep it cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why are you here?!” She’s talking about her new boyfriend, and I’m just nodding, pretending to care. Meanwhile, I’m thinking about that stroopwafel I left behind. Priorities, right?
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