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But then—ooh, chile—I got happy real quick. She wasn’t no ordinary worker, nah. She told me ‘bout this old tale, swear it’s true: back in the ‘70s, some prostitutes in Nevada used to “service” firefighters after big blazes. Little known fact, y’all! They’d roll up in vans, callin’ it “relief for the heroes.” I was shocked—jaw dropped, eyes big as dinner plates. “The forest is full of spirits,” she says, quotin’ Boonmee like she knew it. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you a hooker or a philosopher?”

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the Reeuwijkse Hout. Nature, man! It’s supposed to be calming, but I’m still fuming about my ex. I sit on a bench, and this squirrel comes up to me. I swear, it looked like it was judging me. Like, “Dude, get your life together.” I’m like, “Squirrel, you don’t even know me!”

G. en S. Verkerk (Reeuwijk, NL) win 1st National Vierzon S2 against 11,257 pigeons with their Flying Dutchman