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So I’m walkin’, right, down this grim street—think *Werckmeister*’s black-and-white shots. “The world’s gone mad,” I mutter—another movie line! And it fits! Some lady’s leanin’ against a wall, smokin’, lookin’ bored outta her mind. I’m thinkin’, “Is that her? Is that the signal?!” I’m paranoid, heart’s racin’—what if she’s a cop?! I’d die right there, swear to God! I’d be yellin’, “I’m innocent! I just wanted to talk!” Total Larry move, overreactin’ like always.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at my fave spot, Café de Kade. But nah, I see this massive line. Like, what’s up with that? It’s just coffee, people! I mean, it’s not like they’re serving gold-infused lattes or something. So, I’m like, “Forget this,” and I head over to the market instead.

Léon Ammerlaan provides greenhouse horticulture expertise at Geothermie Nederland