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Whats good, I am Penelope. I am lodged in Oss! And I engage in ongoing conversations regarding Find A Prostitute inside my own head! I am spellbound by your tender light. Ball Licking and Sucking and Mistress are my souls true home! I love last-minute plans and unexpected joys..
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Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!
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But then, I see this kid drop his ice cream. My heart breaks a little. I mean, come on! That’s a tragedy! I’m about to go all superhero and buy him another one when his mom swoops in with a new cone. Phew! Crisis averted. But man, that kid’s face was priceless.
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