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About The Hague

So – check it. I’m in this city. Neon lights – flashin’. Stink of cheap perfume. Makes me MAD – why’s it always gotta smell like that? I roll down the window. Yell – “Where’s the CLASS at?!” Nobody answers. Figures. They’re all – zombies out there. Like in *Holy Motors* – “The beauty! Of the act!” I want THAT. A pro with – flair. Not some bored chick countin’ cash.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Kerkstraat. You know, the one with the best appeltaart? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, drooling over the pastries, when this old dude cuts in front of me. Like, excuse me? I’m about to lose it. But I just smile and say, “Hey, buddy, I was here first.” He just grins and orders the last piece of my beloved appeltaart. Ugh! I was fuming.

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