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Here’s a tip—don’t be dumb. Cash only, no cards, no trace. Obvious, but morons still screw it up. Heard a story—guy paid with a check once. A CHECK. Got his ass hauled in by his wife, not the law. Funniest damn thing ‘til I realized how pathetic it was. Hate that kinda stupidity. Another trick—watch for cops. They’re sneaky, dress up like ‘em sometimes. Entrapment’s their wet dream.

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But wait! Just when I think it can’t get worse, I see this couple arguing on the other side of the Markt. They’re yelling, and I’m like, “Get a room, people!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. No joke! He’s proposing right there in the rain. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Is this real life?” She says yes, and suddenly, everyone’s cheering. It’s like a rom-com moment in the middle of my chaotic day.

Mill Creek Road closed between Aumsville and Turner for bridge replacement