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Once, I almost asked her out. Not for that—just coffee, ya know? But nah, chickened out, fuckin dumbass. “I’m not a fisherman, I’m a fool!” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it’s me. She’d prob laugh, say, “You’re weird, fish boy.” And I’d be like, “Hell yea, babe!” We come in peace (robotic tone)—but I’m chaos inside. That’s the scoop, man—prossies, boats, Tenenbaums. Wild life!

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So, I’m wandering down the canals, right? And it’s beautiful. The water’s glistening, the boats are bobbing. I’m feeling all zen until I see this family feeding the ducks. And these ducks? They’re like, “Feed me, human!” I’m cracking up. Like, who knew ducks could be so demanding?

Replacement dormitory building agreed for Canvey religious school