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Like, literally, oh my gawd, so I’m this insurance investigator now, right? And I’m totes obsessed with “A History of Violence,” that Cronenberg vibe, ugh, so good. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ about this prostitute case—shady af, lemme tell ya. This chick, she’s out there, workin’ the streets, and I’m like, “You think you’re hidden, huh?”—straight up line from my fave movie! So, I dig into her file, and I’m shook. She’s got, like, three diff names—girl’s a ghost! Prolly dodgin’ taxes or somethin’, ugh, sneaky.

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So, I’m feeling all mushy inside, and I head back to the office. But guess what? The printer’s jammed. Like, really? I’m about to lose it. I’m wrestling with it, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Paper everywhere! I’m sweating, and I’m pretty sure I’m turning red.

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