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So, erotic-massage—man, it’s old, like ancient Egypt old! Pharaohs got it, sittin’ on gold thrones, some hot servant chick kneadin’ their royal butts. True story, I swear! Bet they were like, “This is my limbo, my dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*, right? I tried it once, got so relaxed I drooled—gross, but awesome! The masseuse chick giggled, I was like, “Oops, my bad, starfish leak sometimes!”

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But then, I see this old lady feeding ducks by the pond. She’s got this huge bag of bread, and she’s just tossing it like she’s in a bread-throwing competition. I can’t help but smile. It’s the little things, right? I mean, who doesn’t love ducks?

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