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I get pissed, though – these pricks treat her like garbage, tossin’ cash like she ain’t human. “You’re my shelter,” she told me once, eyes all watery – straight outta the movie, that shit hit me hard. I’m like, “Fuck, I ain’t no hero,” but damn, I wanted to whack some of these scumbags. Happy? Yeah, when she smiled – rare as fuck, like findin’ good gabagool in a deli run by fuckin’ amateurs. Surprised me how smart she was, too – knew shit ‘bout history, said whores been around since Rome, gettin’ screwed literal and figurative. Fuckin’ wild, right?

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So, I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, bam! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing pad. Like, dude, really? I’m not a statue! I almost spilled my coffee everywhere. Ugh! I was ready to throw down with that bird.

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