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So I asks, “How much, precious?” She smirks, “Fifty quid, you weirdo.” Fifty! Robbery, that is! “I ain’t got no home,” I whines, quotin’ Llewyn again, hopin’ pity works. Nope. She rolls her eyes, walks off, hips swayin’. Grrr, made me ragey, but also – wow – them curves, my precious! Nearly chased her, but me legs, all wobbly, nah.

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After that, I’m back to work. I’m trimming branches, and I swear, I’m covered in leaves. Like, I’m basically a walking bush. And then, this lady walks by on de Veldweg. She stops and stares at me like I’m some kinda tree wizard. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just doin’ my job!” But she’s all, “You’re amazing!” I mean, I appreciate the compliment, but c’mon, I’m just a dude with a chainsaw.

A little bit of twine goes a long way