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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!
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After the service, I’m chatting with folks, and this one lady comes up to me. She’s all serious, and I’m thinking, “Uh oh, what did I say?” But she just wants to tell me about her garden. Apparently, she’s growing the biggest tomatoes in Huizen. I’m like, “That’s awesome! Can I get a slice?”
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