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About Amsterdam

Lemme paint this—me, cruisin’ downtown, heels clackin’, lookin’ fierce. See this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig, bold as hell. I’m like, “Yaaas, you’re the star!” Reminds me of Anwar in the flick, struttin’ like he owns the world. “Death’s a celebration,” he says—ha! She’s celebratin’ somethin’, too, maybe just survivin’. I’m shook—how’s she so chill? Prolly seen it all. Fun fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got unions for ‘em—organised slayage!

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But she does recommend starting off with a search to find the best provider for you: “Google where you are and who you want to meet. If you’re after a specific service — kink, for example .

So, I stroll down to the harbor. The boats are bobbing, and the water’s glistening. I’m feeling all artsy, ya know? I whip out my pencil and start sketching the old ships. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m like, “Dude, that was my lunch!” I chase it for a sec, but it’s too fast. I’m left standing there, hangry and confused.

Girmay, Van der Hoorn and De Gendt all out of Paris-Roubaix