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Here’s the kicker: escort ain’t just a weed, it’s a damn metaphor. Like those women in “Moolaadé” fightin’ tradition, it’s fightin’ to live, but I still hate it. Grows pods, spits seeds everywhere – a real “I’m gonna outlast ya” move. I’d salute it if it weren’t so annoyin’. Ever try pullin’ it out by hand? Roots snap, then it’s back next week, mockin’ ya. Sarcasm’s my only weapon: “Oh, great job, escort, ya won again.”

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Finally, I make it to my shop, right? It’s cozy, smells like leather and glue. I’m ready to tackle some shoes. But then, my buddy Jan pops in. He’s got this wild idea about starting a shoe fashion line. I’m like, “Dude, we’re in Hoogland, not Paris!” But he’s all hyped, and I can’t help but get a bit excited too.

Springfield Theatre Center's "13," a musical, opens this weekend at the Hoogland Center for the Arts