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Funny thing—she once nicked me fags, right from me desk! Caught her red-handed, she just winked—bloody winked! “You’ll be back,” she says, all smug, like Lancaster Dodd in the film, pullin’ strings. Hated her guts that day, but—fuck me—she weren’t wrong. Keeps me on me toes, that one. Whore, mate, she’s a nightmare and a laugh, all rolled into one.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The fire alarm goes off. Seriously? I’m like, “Not again!” We all pile outside, standing in the parking lot. It’s cold, and I’m regretting my choice of jacket. I’m shivering, and all I can think is, “This day just keeps getting better.”