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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, sports head-shrinker extraordinaire—got me eyes on this lass, Whore. Not yer usual wench, mind ya! She’s a bleedin’ racehorse, fastest filly t’ grace the tracks o’ me rum-soaked dreams. Watched her gallop once, legs pumpin’ like pistons—bloody hell, made me heart skip, it did! Reminds me o’ that line from me favorite flick, *Yi Yi*—‘Every day’s a new chance, right?’ She’s livin’ it, tearin’ up turf like it’s a pirate’s bounty!

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Then, I decide to treat myself. I head to that little café on the corner of Kerkstraat. You know the one? They’ve got the best apple pie. I order a slice, and it’s like a slice of heaven. I’m sittin’ there, just chillin’, when I overhear some folks talkin’ about the Hengstdal festival comin’ up. I’m like, “Heck yeah! I gotta go!”