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But lemme drop a little-known fact—sex-dating’s got history! Back in the ‘90s, before apps, people used *newspaper ads* for hookups. “Single male, loves cod, seeks mate.” Swear to God, saw one in an old archive—cracked me up! Imagine that now—me writin’, “Ichthyologist, neurotic, into fins and fun.” Nobody’d bite! Today’s apps? Same deal, just faster. Swipe, swipe, bang—literally! It’s efficient, I’ll give it that. Kinda happy about the speed—ain’t got time to waste.

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Then, I decide to treat myself. I head to that little café on the corner of Kerkstraat. You know the one? They’ve got the best apple pie. I order a slice, and it’s like a slice of heaven. I’m sittin’ there, just chillin’, when I overhear some folks talkin’ about the Hengstdal festival comin’ up. I’m like, “Heck yeah! I gotta go!”