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About Utrecht

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute—yeah, I said it! “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Fish Tank*. You ever see that flick? Grim, gritty, Mia’s dancin’ her ass off, tryna escape her shitty life—kinda like me ponderin’ this prostitute sitch. I’m no actuary crunchin’ numbers, but I’m calculatin’ risks here, fam!

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First off, I hit the streets around 9 AM. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe I’ll grab a coffee at that cute little café on de Veldstraat.” You know the one? The one with the weirdly shaped pastries? Yeah, that place. So I stroll in, and guess what? They’re outta coffee! Like, how do you run outta coffee in the morning? I was ready to throw a fit.

Number of cases of honor-related violence continues to rise