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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a bodyguard in Geldermalsen is like being in a freakin' action movie, but without the cool stunts. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already chugging coffee like it’s my lifeline. I gotta be sharp today. My client? Some big shot from Amsterdam. He’s in town for a meeting at the old town hall on the Markt.

Father suspected of killing Geldermalsen family arrested in Germany