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About Groningen

So I docks me boat, stinks of cod, an’ I’m stompin’ round town, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. “Is it ’cos I is black?” I’m yellin’, cos some geezers give me dodgy looks. Nah, it’s cos I’m a fisherman, smellin’ like a wet net! Found this one gal, right, proper fit, standin’ by the pier. She’s all “You got the cash, bruv?” I’m like, “Yeah, babe, I got coin from me cod haul.”

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First off, I hit the streets of Eijsden, right? You know, that cute little town near the Maas river. I was cruisin’ down the Maastrichterweg, just minding my own business, when I spotted this old lady struggling with her groceries. I mean, c’mon, it’s like 2023, can’t we help each other out? So, I pulled over, hopped out, and helped her. She was super grateful, but then she started telling me her life story. I swear, I aged ten years listening to her ramble about her cat, Momo.

Belgium and the Netherlands swap land – because it 'makes sense'