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About The Hague

So, I’m thinkin, how’s it go now? Streets, apps, whatever – it’s a hustle, mate. Makes me mad, tho – all them judgy pricks lookin down. “Who are we today?” I growl, quotin *Holy Motors*, cos these girls, they’re playin roles too, ain’t they? Puts a knot in me guts, seein em used up. But then – ha! – some got sass, struttin like queens, an I’m cheerin, “Yes, precious, own it!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Eijsden, right? You know, that cute little town near the Maas river. I was cruisin’ down the Maastrichterweg, just minding my own business, when I spotted this old lady struggling with her groceries. I mean, c’mon, it’s like 2023, can’t we help each other out? So, I pulled over, hopped out, and helped her. She was super grateful, but then she started telling me her life story. I swear, I aged ten years listening to her ramble about her cat, Momo.

The four main FOP labels currently in use in Europe: Keyhole (A),...