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About Amsterdam

So – I’m drivin’. Mutterin’ to myself – “Gotta find her.” Eyes peeled. Then – BAM. There she is. Leaning on a lamppost. Legs for DAYS – hot damn. She’s got this – wig. Purple. Crooked. Reminds me – *Holy Motors*. “Weirdness! Keeps us alive!” I pull over – fast. Heart’s poundin’. I’m thinkin’ – is she nuts? Perfect. I ask – “You workin’?” She smirks. Says – “For the right price, grandpa.” GRANDPA?! I’m pissed – then laughin’. Cheeky! I like it.

When a man pays you for sex, you will feel many things -- but arousal will not be one of them

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But then, I see it. A dog. A big ol’ fluffy one. I’m a sucker for dogs, man. I kneel down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and then I realize—my phone’s in my pocket. The dog’s tail knocks it out, and it goes flying! I’m diving for it like it’s the last slice of pizza. I catch it, but not before it lands in a puddle. Great. Just great.

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