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About Amsterdam

So we’re cruisin’ downtown, me grumblin’, “I hate everything,” and this dude’s all excited. Thinks it’s easy—ha! You gotta dodge cops, weirdos, and those sketchy ads online. Saw one once, blurry pic, “discreet fun, $100.” Looked like my aunt’s chihuahua in a wig. Laughed my ass off, then got mad—waste of my damn time. Prostitutes ain’t just standin’ on corners anymore, nope. They’re sneaky, got apps, secret X posts—searched some, found jack squat. Surprised me, honestly. Thought it’d be simpler, like orderin’ a steak.

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So, I decide to take a walk down the Hoofdstraat. It’s bustling, people everywhere. I’m dodging bikes, strollers, and this one guy who’s just standing there, staring at his phone like it’s the Holy Grail. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Eelde, not Amsterdam!” But whatever, I keep moving.

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