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Sarcasm, I got—payin’ for cuddles? Lame, it feels! But lonely, I get, so judge I won’t. Informative, this is—cash upfront, always, or screwed, you’ll be. X posts sayin’ “best spots downtown,” but sketchy, they are, trust me not. Web search? “Escorts near me”—bam, ads everywhere, headache it gives! Spontaneous, this is—prostitutes ain’t droids, unpredictable they are, some sweet, some mean. Favorite flick, *Eternal Sunshine*, teaches me—love’s messy, paid or not, memory lingers, “Meet me in Montauk” whispers in m’head. Hmmm, strange life, this is!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

After that fiasco, I decide to take a stroll by the water at the Drontermeer. It’s beautiful there, man. The sun glistening off the water, ducks quacking like they own the place. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and they’re making it a soap opera. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they’re fighting over who left the lights on. Classic, right?

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