Audrey Cranendonck Prostitute ❤️

About Tilburg

She’s got dis trick, see – little known fact! She hums old Soviet tunes under her breath, keeps da johns guessin’. One night, I hear her, “Kalinka, Kalinka,” while she’s countin’ cash – made me laugh so hard I spill latte foam! “Zat’s not how you negotiate, fraulein!” I yell in me head, picturin’ Tarantino givin’ her a slow clap. I mean, she’s a pro, but da hustle? Brutal. Gets me mad, too – dese pimps, dey take half her stack! Half! I wanna grab a bat, go all Hans Landa on ‘em, “You don’t like me? Fine, I’m da best!”

Neuken Cranendonck

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So, we’re chillin’ there, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, from the other side of the river. She’s waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, her cat, Whiskers, climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a raftsman, not a cat whisperer!” But she looked so desperate.

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