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So, I see this girl, right? She’s posted up, leanin’ on a wall like she invented chillin’. I’m like, “Yo, you workin’?” She nods, slow, like I’m dumb for askin’. Fair. I’m sweatin’, feelin’ like a rookie swineherd losin’ his pigs. She’s all, “What you want, fam?” I’m thinkin’, damn, this ain’t no lobby boy service. No “May I assist you, sir?”—nah, it’s straight cash talk. I’m pissed tho, ‘cause some dude earlier tried rippin’ me off—50 bucks for directions? Get outta here, clown.

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So, I paddle over, and I’m tryin’ to coax this cat down. It’s not workin’. I’m like, “Whiskers, c’mon! You’re not a squirrel!” Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the cat decides to jump. And guess what? It lands right on my head! I’m like, “Great, now I’m a cat hat!” Everyone’s laughin’, and I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ to keep my cool.

Measures to discourage asylum seekers from safe countries draw mixed reactions