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But it’s tricky, precious, so tricky! Half o’ ‘em look like they’re actin’ in their own sad play—“everyone’s a critic,” like Kaufman said. I’m thinkin’, shit, am I the audience or the bloody fool here? Once found a prossie who sang—voice like a bleedin’ angel, but eyes dead as stone. Broke me heart, that. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d claw the moon down fer her, I would! Still, most times it’s just hagglin’—ten quid, twenty, whatever scraps I got. “The play’s the thing,” I hiss, cos it’s all a game, innit?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m a librarian in Breukelen, right? Yeah, that little gem of a town in the Netherlands. You know, the one that’s like a cozy blanket on a chilly day? Anyway, I woke up thinking it’d be just another boring day at the library. Spoiler alert: it was anything but.

PHOTOS: D1 Girls Soccer Championships