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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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So, I’m trying to help this kid find a book on dinosaurs. He’s super into it, and I’m like, “Yes! A fellow dino enthusiast!” But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming. Turns out, she’s mad because someone took her favorite book. Like, lady, it’s a library! Books are meant to be shared! But she’s not having it. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s like a volcano ready to erupt.

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