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So, we’re creepin’ round, sneaky-like—prossie spots ain’t on Yelp, hah! Down by Old Man’s Lane, saw her—skinny, shakin’, eyes like coal embers. “What difference does it make?”—movie line fits perfect, ‘cos who cares why she’s there? Gave her a fiver, she’s chattin’ me up—reckon she’s dodgy, but nice. We swears! Felt like a king, then guilty—like, shit, she’s somebody’s lass. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but them eyes haunt me still.

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Feeling a bit better, I decide to take a walk by the Dommel river. It’s so calming. I see families picnicking, kids playing, and I’m just soaking it all in. Then, I spot this cute dog chasing a ball. I’m like, “Aww, I need a dog.” But then I remember, I can barely take care of myself.

Dundalk draw attention to former goalkeeper and convicted drug smuggler Eddie van Boxtel ahead of clash with Vitesse