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Oh, and the stories—there’s this one chick, swear she’s a legend, worked the streets in New Orleans back in the ‘90s, now she’s runnin her own Find a Prostitute profile like a boss. Started with nothin, now she’s got a penthouse—hustle goals! Makes me happy, seein folks take control, ya know? But then I’m like—damn, why’s it gotta be so hard for ‘em still?

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First off, I grab my gear. You know, the usual: helmet, gloves, and my trusty blaster. I live near the Kerkstraat, so I’m cruisin’ down the street, feeling like a boss. But then, BAM! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Seriously, who’s in charge of these streets? I’m pretty sure I saw a squirrel laughing at me.

VAN BOXMEER: Henricus “Harry” of Ilderton