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Well, halleluyer, chile! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them parachutist firefighters—jumpin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, all that heroic mess—and then you throw “find a prostitute” in my face! Lawd, I nearly fell outta my chair laughin’. Now, I ain’t judgin’—well, maybe a lil’—but I’m Madea, honey, and I got thoughts! You know I love me some “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives”—that movie’s weird as hell, but deep, y’all. Got me ponderin’ life, death, and everythang in between. So let’s mix this up, talk ‘bout findin’ a prostitute with some Southern sass and a sprinkle of Boonmee magic.

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First off, I hit the streets of Bodegraven, right? I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, and it’s like, 8 AM. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes? Ruined. Thanks, Bodegraven weather.

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