Mari Bilgaard Whore ❤️❤️

About Utrecht

Oh, typos? Here’s 12: wot, luv, shite, bollox, fink, coz, knw, gud, yer, rite, tho, nuff. Hah, knackered writin’ this! Whores’d laugh at me, stumblin’ like a twat. *Exaggerated sigh*—I’d shag a theory before a whore, probs. Too busy dreamin’ bout wormholes. But fair play, they’re legends—spinnin’ lives like *Inception*’s endin’. Top still wobblin’? Always, bruv!

Career stats

Mischa Bilgaard, 35, from Denmark Sunred Beach FC, since midfield Market value: * Mar 5, in.

So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this café called “De Groene Boom.” I mean, come on, how could I resist? I’m a forester, I love trees! I pop in for a coffee, and the barista? Total character. He’s got this wild hair and a beard that looks like it’s been through a hurricane. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of tree bark?” I laugh, but he’s dead serious. I’m like, “Nah, man, just the coffee, please.”