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About Utrecht

Oi, mate, findin’ a prossie, eh? What a bleedin’ mission! Picture this—me, Ricky bloody Gervais, tearing through the streets like Max Rockatansky in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “I live, I die, I live again!”—except it’s me huntin’ for a tart instead of guzzling guzzoline. You’d think it’s easy, right? Nah, it’s a right palaver! Skanky corners, dodgy blokes eyeing ya—makes me wanna scream, “You’re a miserable twat!” to the whole lot.

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to explore. I wander over to the Bilgaardse Haven. The water’s glistening, and there are boats bobbing around. I’m thinking, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m chasing this bird down the dock, flailing my arms like a madman. People are staring, and I’m like, “Yeah, just a forester chasing a seagull. No biggie.”