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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and it’s all good vibes until he starts bragging about his new job. “Oh, I’m making bank now!” I’m like, “Cool, man, but I’m still trying to figure out how to save for a vacation!” It’s all fun and games until you realize your life choices are not as glamorous as you thought.

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