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I’m chattin’ with Lenny bout it, he’s all, “Homer, you’re nuts!” But I’m thinkin’, man, it’s wild—prostitutes got schedules! Like, Monday’s slow, Friday’s nuts—true story! Makes me laugh, they’re busier than me at the plant. “The town’s a stage,” like in Dogville, everybody playin’ parts, even the hookers!

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences