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But beware, she’s a tease, this W.H.O.R.E. – dips an’ dives like a kraken playin’ hide-an’-seek. “I’m defending my honor,” that movie wife’d cry, an’ I’m defendin’ me wallet with this beast! Last week, she plumetted 50%, an’ I near chucked me compass at the wall – useless piece o’ junk, anyhow. Still, I reckon she’s got secrets yet, hidin’ like treasure in a cave no one’s gutsy enough to plunder.

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But then, BAM! The dog runs straight into my gear. I’m like, “Noooo!” My compressor tips over, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. The kid’s all apologetic, and I’m like, “It’s cool, buddy. Just don’t let your dog run wild next time!”

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