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Here’s a freaky fact—did ya know in Nevada, USA, it’s legal? Like, legit brothels! Blows my tiny mind! I’m picturin’ me strollin’ in, all “Hiii, I’m Patrick!” They’d be like, “Uh, pink dude, ya lost?” And I’d go, “Nope! Research!” Total “Spotlight” vibes—diggin’ into the dark corners, ya feel me? “We’re gonna need a bigger boat”—wait, wrong movie again. “This is how we fight back!”—there ya go, that’s the one!

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Finally, I decide to call it a day. I’m walking back to my car, and I see this cute little park, the Asten Park. I sit down on a bench, just trying to catch my breath. I’m thinking about how crazy today was. I mean, one minute I’m all hyped up on coffee, and the next I’m a wet mess.

Kennedy Van Asten