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About Rotterdam

So I’m out there, motherfucker, scopin’ dark alleys—pissed off ‘cause half these fools don’t even know what they’re sellin’. You ever hear ‘bout the Paris red-light district back in the day? Them courtesans in the 1900s ran shit like CEOs—fact! Ain’t no Tinder swipin’ for that, nah, it was straight-up hustle. Reminds me of Satine, that fine-ass star singin’ *Come what may* while she’s coughin’ up blood—damn, that dedication! I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ how these girls today got apps and OnlyFans, but back then? You had to eyeball the goods in person, no filter!

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After that, I decide to stroll along the canals. Appingedam’s canals are so pretty, right? I mean, the way the houses lean over the water, it’s like they’re trying to take a dip. I’m snapping pics, feeling artsy, when I see this old man feeding ducks. He’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Dude, save some for the rest of us!” But then, the ducks start fighting over the crumbs. It’s like a nature documentary gone wrong. I’m cracking up, and the old man looks at me like I’m the crazy one.

Grisha Kirby