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About Bender

Here’s the real shit – lotta folks don’t know this, but back in the ‘70s, firefighters in Cali would stumble on secret brothels hidden in burnt-out cabins. True story, brah! Hippies turned hustlers, makin’ bank while the ashes settled. Me? I ain’t judgin’, but it pissed me off seein’ her hustle so hard – girl looked tired, like she’d been runnin’ from somethin’. Made me think, “Are you my friend?” – straight outta the movie, that line hit me hard. I’m all heart, man, can’t help it!

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And then, outta nowhere, this stray dog comes up to me. He’s all scruffy and looks like he’s seen some things. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you want some coffee?” Obviously, I don’t give him any, but he just sits there, looking at me with those big eyes. I swear, he’s judging my life choices.

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