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But it’s tricky, precious, so tricky! Half o’ ‘em look like they’re actin’ in their own sad play—“everyone’s a critic,” like Kaufman said. I’m thinkin’, shit, am I the audience or the bloody fool here? Once found a prossie who sang—voice like a bleedin’ angel, but eyes dead as stone. Broke me heart, that. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d claw the moon down fer her, I would! Still, most times it’s just hagglin’—ten quid, twenty, whatever scraps I got. “The play’s the thing,” I hiss, cos it’s all a game, innit?

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling all good, right? But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring! I mean, come on! I just got this fresh brew! So, I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I swear, the streets of Basarabeasca turn into rivers when it rains.

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