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Here’s the kicker—sexual-massage ain’t just sex, nah, it’s therapy with a twist! Releases oxytocin, that love juice in your brain—science, baby! I’m sittin’ there, surprised as hell, thinkin’, “This beats yellin’ at Congress!” Little story: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—massage joints from the ‘80s, started ‘cause folks needed stress relief after workin’ 80-hour weeks. Still goin’ strong! Imagine Theodore from “Her” walkin’ in, sayin’, “I just want someone to touch me,” all sad-like—hilarious, right? Poor sap coulda used a rub!

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After that, we head to the river Prut. It’s beautiful, honestly. The sun setting, the water glistening. I’m trying to be all poetic, but then this group of teenagers shows up, blasting music. I’m like, “Really? Can’t a guy enjoy nature in peace?” But then I see them dancing, and I can’t help but laugh. They’re having the time of their lives.

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